Book Review: A Pack of Cigarettes for the Mind

A Pack of Cigarettes for the Mind. What a great title. But the book is not promising to be a cigarette for the mind, something to ease and distract you. Rather, it is saying that television is this cigarette, a filthy and addicting habit that lulls you into a false sense of attentiveness and comfort.

Brother Christos Hayward shows an understanding of the pressures and absurdity of modernity in a way few monastics even attempt. In particular, he focuses on the cancer of technology and industrial society, but he does so with greater nuance, and even appreciation, than the authors of most polemics. Brother Christos recognizes the hellscape we live in, the horror without end, instead of the horrific end that George Orwell wrote about in his review of Mein Kampf.

The book is an anthology of selections of his previous works, each including discussion questions. It functions as a good introduction to Brother Christos’ writing and worldview, although some of it seems to stretch back before he became Orthodox. Some of it is fictional satire, but most pieces are non-fiction, such as his advice to always ask, “What do Silicon Valley technology executives choose for their children?” when making choices about technology.

The first entry is a sort of fanfiction of Plato’s Allegory of the Cave applied to the television. Brother Christos understands the great and pervading artificiality of our times, and he understands how most people are unable to see this. We are so used to artificiality that real things hurt to encounter. The television will always win over the mountains and forests. Everything in our society is artificial. Just a hundred years ago, all of our current political and social discourse would have been recognized as meaningless.

Brother Christos also understands the growing pains of coming out of normie society, and the bitter rejection that comes of it. “In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is crucified.” The normies do not misunderstand you so much as hate you, because you’ve proven they’re willing slaves.

The next entry is a short story satire about how American Christianity has become a consumer product for your entertainment.

“Good morning, and I would like to extend a warm and personal welcome to each and every one of you from those of us at the Church of the Holy Television. Please sit back, relax, and turn off your brain.”

Andy and Stacie Wood, ‘pastors’ of the 25,000-member Saddleback Church, dressed as Toy Story characters for an  ‘At The Movies’ sermon series

I felt a little mixed about this second piece. On some level it resorts to the goofy caricatures of “Prosperity Gospel” that never really existed. Prosperity Gospel has become the goblin in the woods for evangelicals. It’s something easy to attack and makes you feel like Augustine and Luther attacking Pelagians and papists. In reality, this is something very fringe that few people are taken in by. This piece feels like it was written by a much younger man, with the kind of juvenile satire that is far more funny to the young writer than to an older reader.

Yet this piece has several paragraphs that perfectly ridicule just how bloated American Christianity is, and was one of my favorites in the collection:

“And now, we sit at the apex, blessed with more and better technology than anyone else. What more could you possibly ask for? What greater blessing could there possibly be? We have the technology, and know how to enjoy it. Isn’t God gracious?”

Of course no pastor would ever say that, but isn’t that how we often feel? Not just the evangelicals, but you and me reading Orthodox Reflections. As ideal as it would be to live in an historic, predominantly Orthodox country, we’re still glad to live in pluralistic America, where we have choices, and there’s no emperor who can change doctrine or service books overnight. Plus, we have all the Orthodoxy we can consume from the comfort of our laptops. We have our modern academic theology from the likes of Florovsky and Romanides, whereas in the 1700s they had this depraved “Latinized” theology that wasn’t really Orthodox at all (so the mythos goes).

Finally at the end, taking up about a third of the book, the crown jewel of the work is a memoir treatise on divine providence, The Consolation of Theology. This work was markedly different than the rest of the book. Brother Christos deals with the frustrations of his life and his various rejections. It deals with the question of providence and failed aspiration in a sober, and experiential, manner. It connects to the reader in a way that the platitudes trotted out in Sunday sermons and pop-theology books never can:

“You can find salvation at all times and in every place. Now you know that marriage or monasticism is necessary; and out of that knowledge you went out to monasteries. You went to the grand Holy Cross Hermitage and Mount Athos itself, and you were not allowed to stay. So what? You are already a monk in God’s eyes. Keep on seeking monasticism, without ever stopping, and whether you pass away as a layman or a monk, if you have sought monasticism for the rest of your days, and seek such repentance as you can, who knows if you might appear a monk in lifelong repentance when you answer before the Dread Judgment-Seat of Christ?”

Brother Christos also attacks the pseudo-science of psychology:

“It has been noticed, as psychology reinvents more of religions, that classical psychology can take a person who is mentally ill to reach a normal state, but nothing better. Positive psychology tries to move beyond what preachers have called ‘a theology of sin management,’ and push to enhance excellence and well-being, and develop gifts. Meanwhile, for over a millennium, monasticism has been at one stroke a hospital for penitent sinners and an academy for ever-reaching excellence.”

The psychologist has replaced the priest. You confess your sins to the psychologist, and he gives you a penance regiment and tells you that you’re okay. This is worked out in the sterile laboratory of capital-S “Science” far away from any kind of human tradition or empathy. Psychology dogma can change overnight, with just a little bit of political pressure, as we see in the change of homosexuality in 1970 or the decrease in the definition of IQ in 1973.

“Psychology does not trade in temptation, sin, or passion: but it too offers a rudder for your inner life, and if it does not talk about cleansing the soul from moral stains, it has quite an impressive battleplan to not be conquered by negative emotion.”

Regarding the wisdom of the world that St Paul warned about so much in 1 Corinthians 1-4 and Colossians 2:

“You do not need to refute TED talks; a few years and a given talk will probably have fallen out of fashion. … TED is a sort of evolving, synthetic religion, and spiritual tofu cannot truly fill true spiritual hunger.”

Brother Christos explains so well how our secular ideology is an inversion and perversion of actual Christian values. This trick of secular ideology is so clever that most Christians assume that there is at least some truth to psychology or social progressivism.

There are many other very insightful and quotable passages in The Consolation of Theology, although like the rest of the book, it takes some slogging.

Other pieces in the anthology were less engaging, at least to me personally. They seem to resonate with a certain computer geek personality type, which I am not. The humor is often subtle and dry. There are also many works that repeat the same kind of warnings and strategies about using your phone too much. Unfortunately he did not include his doxology poem, which I thought was an excellent example of what American Orthodox liturgical poetry could be. (Read it here.)

Considering that the anthology is only $5 on Kindle, it is well worth your time and money. Support an independent Orthodox writer outside the mainstream of St Vlad’s and AFR. The anthology is creative and original, and more than that, it is based in reality. Brother Christos sees the transhuman onslaught looming in the distance, and understands the choices we will have to make. Unfortunately compromise is unavoidable, but we can at least mitigate that compromise.

— Augustine (Austin) Martin

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