By Nicholas – member of the Western Rite Vicariate, a part of the Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese in America
Western humans have short attention spans, and even shorter memories. They resemble children in many ways, living in the “eternal now,” as if what surrounds us has thus always been. Which is why few people seem to remember that the widespread use of contraception is relatively recent, and was never without controversy. At the start of the 20th Century, birth control was considered immoral and was largely illegal. This started to change only after 1916, when abortion advocate and eugenicist Margaret Sanger challenged existing laws by opening the first “family planning clinic” in Brooklyn, New York. The police closed her clinic, but the court challenges that followed established legal precedents to the “right” of contraception. The narrative around birth control at the time focused on poor mothers who were overwhelmed with children they could not care for (or even feed), the high rate of maternal mortality, and the prevention of back alley abortions.
The Jewish community in New York was a staunch supporter of Sanger’s efforts. Shocking, I know.
The so-called “era of modern contraception” did not begin until 1960, when both the birth control pill and intrauterine device (IUD) became widely available. Without the “pill” and the IUD, the 1960’s would have had a much different zeitgeist. Maybe there would still have been drugs and rock ‘n’ roll, but sexual promiscuity would have been just a problematic as in prior generations. However, because technology had made babies optional, by the end of the decade, sex had become a recreational activity. Today, the fruits of separating sex from procreation are all around us. We live in a vast, failed sociological experiment that few moderns even recognize the novelty of. Wasn’t it always the primary goal of life to have as much “good sex” as possible without the “consequence” of a baby? Even if that “good sex” is found in perversions, such as in copulating with an AI-controlled sex robot?
Well, no. Actually. The modern, Western obsession with sexual acts (as opposed to an emphasis on eternal salvation, duty, honor, devotion, love, marriage, care of children) is really, historically, quite new. It needs to die. You want higher birth rates? A restoration of social morality (sexual and otherwise)? An end to baby murder? Young men and women interacting in healthy ways that lead to stable, happy families? An end to “hook up” culture? An end to ever accelerating sexual degeneracy that leads to transgenderism, homosexuality, sex robots, AI girlfriends, porn addiction, and the epidemic of loneliness among the youth?
Then we must reconnect sex and procreation, which means ending the widespread use of contraception. In other words, make babies the point again. Yeah, I know. That sounds radical. It isn’t. Widespread contraception was the radical bit, and all of the young people flocking to our Orthodox parishes are living in the hellscape it spawned. Getting rid of it is spiritual common sense. Common sense that has to start with the Orthodox Church doubling down on her opposition to all forms of birth control other than abstinence.
In service to that goal, I would like to recommend a free book by Priestmonk Kosmas, known for the Orthodox Talks series, titled Who Should We Listen to Regarding Contraceptives and the Avoidance of Having Children? The book examines the teachings of holy Orthodox God-bearers regarding abortion, embryo-killing contraceptives, the state of aborted children’s souls in the afterlife, the avoidance of having children, and the unforgivable silence of Orthodox clergy on these matters. The book also dives into repentance and Confession, God’s love, mercy and forgiveness, and how to produce fruits worthy of repentance. The book further presents medical information regarding contraceptives, their side effects, and health risks. It discusses how certain contraceptives, including hormonal contraceptives, copper IUDs, and some barrier contraceptives, can cause abortions and miscarriages.
The book can be read online in multiple formats here.
There is also an icon, purposefully written in simple language, discussing medical side effects, how contraceptives can cause abortion, teachings of the Orthodox Church, and quotes from ancient and contemporary Saints. See below for the icon front and back in English (multiple languages are available). These can be printed at home or in the parish, but can also be ordered at no cost from the Orthodox Talks Website. Fr Kosmas can be reached directly at info@orthodoxtalks.com for more information. Physical copies of the book are also available.
His Grace Bishop Luke of Jordanville discussed this book, and it was reported on by OrthoChristian.
A word to parents, priests, and other leaders within Orthodoxy. You might be afraid to touch this topic out of fear of alienating the young people who managed to be born, in spite of widespread contraception and infanticide. If so, you are misreading the room entirely. The entire edifice of modern, post-Christian Western society has completely failed. The under 30 crowd knows that better than anyone. These are the young people who will become the parents of the next generation, and they are desperately seeking an authentic faith in Christ as an antidote to the nihilism presented to them as “culture.” His Eminence Metropolitan Saba of the Antiochian Archdiocese spoke this truth plainly in a presentation to the 14th Meeting of the Assembly of Canonical Orthodox Bishops of the United States of America. Watch the entire presentation here, and read the transcript here. An excerpt is below, with emphasis added.
Speaking about conversion requires pausing to consider youth. The phenomenon of young people, ages roughly 15-30, coming to Orthodoxy has become very clear in many churches. For example, in New York—where previous waves of conversion were not known—you will find today in our Antiochian cathedral in Brooklyn more than fifty university-age catechumens or very recent converts of every race and religious background—or even of no religious background at all.
It is also notable that many young men with little prior contact with Christianity are drawn to the order, hierarchy, and seriousness they find in Orthodoxy. Young people in general summarize the reason for their choice of Orthodoxy in these words: “We were looking for a real spiritual life, and we found it in Orthodoxy.” Before Orthodoxy became more widely known, many of these same people would leave rationalistic Western Christianity for Eastern religions, seeking that very spirituality in religions like Hinduism and Buddhism—not knowing that authentic spirituality already existed in Eastern Christianity.
Youth admire the authenticity, dignity, and spirituality they find in Orthodoxy. They discover an ascetic and moral seriousness that offers them an alternative to the relativistic, fragmented culture they experience in society. In addition, many young Americans now long for Christian community and seek it in traditional churches. It is no exaggeration to say that mysticism is what most strongly draws them to Orthodoxy: they are captivated by the mystery they experience—whether in the various liturgical services or in the sacred arts such as architecture, icons, and music. Any visitor to Orthodox monasteries in America will notice the abundance of monks and nuns who are themselves young.
Boomers, Gen Xers, and Millennials, lend me your ears. When the young people shout, “Death to the World!” – they really mean it. These young people live in a “culture” that did everything possible to prevent them from even being born. A “culture” that wants them saturated in porn, dating an AI chatbot, and maybe having one child at 40, but only after the emotional devastation of dozens of failed, sexually-based “relationships.” If you think preaching actual Orthodox morality is going to “scare” them off, then think again. The truth is, you’re the ones that are scared. You are also the ones comfortable with a contraception-based lifestyle, even though you recognize the damage it has done. Our new crop of Orthodox Zoomers lacks maturity and discernment. Who didn’t at their age? But they have an innate hunger for the truth. They deserve to get it, without equivocation or reservation.
A new song by Kelsea Bellerini just dropped about sitting in parks and regretting having missed the chance to be a mother:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ccgd5MT9s4&t=49s
“The song opens with her taking in an ordinary family scene: the picnic, the sunscreen, the chaos of children. And it breaks her heart. The young mom she observes is the same age, living in the same world, from the same generation. But, as she writes in the song, the two of them are living wildly different Saturdays. She built a career, chased her dream, “did the tour,” got everything she wanted … and now sits wondering if she “missed the mark.”
That phrase is painfully familiar to many of us, because it strikes at the question that has haunted every human heart since Eden:
What if the thing I poured my life into wasn’t the thing my soul was actually made for?
Ballerini’s second verse sharpens the scene. She imagines a nursery and motherhood before delivering the most powerful line of the song, wondering if the mom on the blanket envies her freedom the same way she envies that woman’s family. Each imagines the other is winning.
Meanwhile Rolling Stone assures her she’s “on the right road,” meaning the road of worldly success and accolades. So she refills her anti-depressant Lexapro and tries to steady the ache. Before the music drops out, she sings: “Tarryn’s due in June. The album’s due in March.”
One life is growing. One project is looming. The first is eternal. The second is painfully temporary.”
In our church the young people from the ethnic Orthodox group get married and have kids. They have a strong support from their families.
The young converts come disoriented from the secular world or different denominations and, are trying to make sense of their life. However, the actual socio-economic conditions in this country makes them to hesitate on having a family and kids. On the other hand, many come from split families and, it is not an incentive to have a well formed family. It will take more time, in the church, to mend their souls and find the real purpose in their lives.
In addition to the socio-economic drawback, we can see the mediatic forces promoting the lifestyle without the burden of children. The transhumanism, with humans 2.0, promoted by people like Noah Harari is in the works. Outside the church, their influence is everywhere and comes to the little phone for a certain mind formation.
All said, it would make sense to have an Akathist for Young People in Modern Times. We need to pray for them more than they can pray for themselves.
This last paragraph is the message, particularly the last few sentences. Enough handwringing about “orthobros” already. The young men coming into the Church don’t need tone policing or finger wagging, they need to be shown the Royal Path. The maturity and discernment will come with time. Do not snuff out their zeal over sharing edgy memes or engaging in internet polemics – mold that into a zeal for the prayers and the services and the life of the Church.