From Heroes to Monsters – A Florida Nurse Describes Current Conditions

“I’m sorry but we are going to have to let you go if you do not comply with the mandatory vaccination.” After avoiding this moment for months, I decide to withhold my thoughts and emotions in this moment to look my leader calmly in the eye. I am resolved to reply slowly and carefully as I chant, “Lord Have Mercy” in my head.

Every time I think about my future termination, my thoughts always go to the last two years. The elaborate signs and posters up throughout my hospital everywhere in tribute of our staff as we worked through COVID. Nurses often volunteered to take on extra shifts and endured brutal conditions without enough PPE.

You worked long hours knowing you were probably not going to be relieved at the end of the shift. As a senior male nurse, I was routinely given charge duty and sometimes more patients than the average nurse. We pulled together, all of us just wondering how to get through the outrageous nurse to patient ratios because “COVID crisis”.

Our managers and hospital administrators expected us to adjust and cope with higher nurse/patient ratios, while being told that we were doing this to help our community. Pondering the upcoming shift while commuting early to work, I would often pray for strength to overcome the uneasiness, fear and dread.

We were frequently mandated to float to different floors (ICU,PCU, Med Surg, Ortho, Oncology, etc). This was stressful. We never never knew where the supplies were, how many patients we would be given, and what level of care (how sick the patients would actually be). The constant uncertainty quickly took its toll on each one of us.  When I asked for assistance or training that I needed to take care of my patients properly, I was told, “You’re a nurse, you will figure it out.” I knew that we were as alone as little fish in a big pond at that point.

My constant prayer was, “Lord have mercy, not just on me but on the patients I must care for under such circumstances.”

The administrators just said, “Great job” – all the while giving each other kudos for being exceptional leaders.  After the fatigue, anger and frustration got too much, my coworkers started to quit. Not just one or two here and there, but 2-3 people per week per nursing floor. Something just was not adding up…

For the benefit of the public, our hospital system ran ads to garner sympathy for how hard we were working during the crisis, and how many sacrifices the hospitals were making. Ads were placed on TV and the radio by my hospital system praising their nurses for their bravery while generating positive PR for the hospital brand. The ads did the trick. People stood outside my hospital waving and carrying signs telling us that we were in their thoughts and prayers. We were heroes in scrubs. The public support helped us through the long and stressful days.

Behind the scenes, my large hospital system (as many were all over the country) was receiving emergency FEMA funding due to the “COVID” crisis. This massive federal jackpot ensured the hospital (nominally non-profit) would make money regardless. Not everyone was sacrificing at the same level.

At the height of the “crisis”, hospitals shut down operating rooms and all outpatient surgeries (Cath labs, heart procedures, Endoscopies).  Patients were denied life-saving procedures. The pain and suffering was heart breaking. Suddenly, literally COVID EVERYTHING became the norm. COVID testing, COVID infusions, COVID monitoring of the entrances, waiting rooms converted into swab testing centers. One virus became the sole focus of our entire hospital. It was as if no other condition and no death from any other cause even mattered.

Patients that tested positive for COVID on admission, but eventually passed away from other conditions, were still considered to be COVID deaths.  Lord, have Mercy!

The COVID units sometimes were full, but most of the time there were only a few patients and the empty beds in those units were left unfilled. This enabled keeping the units on lockdown so patients could be denied visitors.

Now that months have passed, and COVID admissions have dropped, our facility has opened its doors and procedural areas again. Administration is pushing for business. “Lets go!” they say in meetings. We exchange quiet looks, all with the same thought, “With what staff?”

So many of our coworkers have quit that we are barely functioning. We have lost staff that have either quit nursing altogether, retired earlier than planned or decided to travel for the incredible income opportunity it brings. Many are going to states and areas that are unionized, while some are actively pushing for nursing union organizations in Florida. Nurses have seen the power wielded by the teaching unions in Florida, and are envious of that level of professional protection.

The high number of travel nurses especially breaks morale and accelerates the loss of staff nurses. Why work on a unit with too high nurse / patient ratios next to a traveler making 3 to 4 times what you are and who can leave for a new contract at any time? Especially if the travelers can say no to the vaccines, while an employ like you might not be allowed to.

Now it seems as if all our sacrifices were in vain. The praise, the signs, the ads, the respect and support are all a distant memory. When the vaccines did not exist, we were heroes that risked ourselves to save lives. It wasn’t the ultra rich administrators that worked with the COVID patients, it was us.

But that was before we were personally demonized by the President of the United States. The president says he no longer has patience for those of us (80 plus million strong) who are unvaccinated. Unvaccinated nurses have gone from heroes in scrubs to enemies of the people in the space of a few short months. Lord have mercy!

Even before the president declared us a public menace, the working conditions for unvaccinated nurses were deteriorating. Now that there is an inoculation, we who have concerns and have chosen not to vaccinate are monsters that refuse to listen to “the science.” There is a determined effort amongst our administration to segregate and shame those who have not vaccinated. Managers in my hospital blatantly ask employees in group meetings if they are planning on being vaccinated. When did asking about personal medical decisions in a group setting become normal?

If the employee is not vaccinated, managers often take it a step further and demand to know why the individual has not taken the shot yet. This is traumatizing, demoralizing and disrespectful to the staff members they are supposed to be caring for and leading. The same staff they trust to care for human beings and save lives, is the same staff they chastise and lecture like disobedient children.

Frankly, it is no one’s business as to why I will not take the vaccine at this time.  I am not answering these questions in my public workplace. No one can force me to discuss my medical conditions, my religious beliefs, and my questions about the efficacy of the shot. Lord have mercy!

The vaccinated employees have a mark/sticker on their ID badges to show their compliance. They are commended and appreciated. Those that don’t have the mark are treated as if they are walking around with Ebola intentionally trying to kill those around them.

If they are vaccinated and protected, why are they so afraid of those that are not? Everyone in our hospital system is still masking at all times regardless of being vaccinated or not.  This makes no sense, unless the vaccine isn’t as effective as they hoped it would be.

Unvaccinated nurses have been told that we “don’t care about the patients and should not be working in healthcare.” We are the same nurses who, a few short months ago, were praised as brave heroes.  We are now told that we should be past asking questions about the vaccines and need to trust the CDC and the NIH.  Only monsters ask questions of “the science.” Lord have mercy!

At our facility only around 48 percent of our staff is vaccinated. All employees are masked continuously (whether in a clinical role or not) and wearing PPE at all times with any patient care. Many of us have already had COVID and have natural immunity. Apparently no one wants to talk about that at all. A new Israeli study confirms what we have seen anecdotally, vaccinated people were 13x as likely to be infected and 27x as likely to have symptomatic infections as those with natural immunity.

My healthcare system is very pro-vaccine. As noted, we are extremely “encouraged” (read pressured) to vaccinate. Despite this, most have chosen not to. But now the President has decided to up the ante and federally mandate that companies our size must require vaccination.

The administrators are using President Biden’s actions as cover for what they wanted to do all along. Our hospital system is now working with other hospital systems in the area to organize a joint push to force over 50% of their healthcare workers be vaccinated or lose their jobs. The collusion is necessary, because everyone is understaffed. One hospital system enforcing a mandate would simply bleed staff to those that aren’t. So they are negotiating to do it together, hoping that we will have no choice but to comply. If they all require it, then switching jobs is less attractive, obviously.

Our hospital head announced this collusion openly at a staff meeting. We only wish it was a conspiracy theory. It is all too real. He said to us all – anyone who does not vaccinate should not be a nurse. The unvaccinated nurses are ignorant or stubborn. Or both.

From 15 days to flatten the curve to keep the hospitals from being overrun, we have now progressed to threatening to fire experienced nurses in the middle of a staff shortage. The fewer the nurses, the fewer the hospital the beds.

We are understaffed, tired, and traumatized. Administrators and patients may not care about this yet. The horror stories about patients being turned away from ER’s were never really true. But they will be. And sooner than you think. Without nurses, there are no hospitals.

We are NOT AntiVaxx, this is a complete myth. Many of us want to see the long-term data. We want to see the long-term effects to those that have taken the vaccine in 5-10 years. We know that the FDA is well-known for having  a questionable approval history for new drugs. Approvals often lack data transparency. We know that the “studies” cited to prove COVID vaccine safety have a major flaw because “only half of trial participants (53%) made it to the four month mark.” Mean follow-up is around 4.4 months. A few months of data does not constitute actual research.

As nurses, we treat people with adverse drug reactions all the time. We are familiar with drugs being taken off the market, even after FDA approval, because of safety concerns. And yes, we treat those injured by the COVID vaccines.

The hospital form to take the vaccine says, that by signing it, we are stating that we are taking it “voluntarily” and that the risks of the vaccine are still “unknown and the risks of death are possible”.  Why would anyone sign such a document? Why would anyone take such a vaccine?

It is not a voluntary situation if they tell you that you will lose your job if you don’t vaccinate.  They are using intimidation, duress and discipline to ensure that we comply.

I personally will not have any government official tell me that I have to take any sort of medicine, shot, or treatment. This is my body and only I will decide for myself without coercion.

What is to keep the government from mandating the next pill that will save humanity? Can they mandate your children take medications, even without parental permission? How could this possibly happen? If you let them take control over your body, it is over. They now own you and will own your future generations. I will fight to prevent this in order to give my children and grandchildren the freedom that should be their birthright as citizens of the United States of America.

The existing EUA vaccines have a liability shield which means that everyone involved with the product is protected from being sued.  Hmmm… Why is that? And why did this liability shield exist so early on? It is if they knew there was and is going to be harm and death to people who take the shot.

People who take an EUA vaccine and end up suffering injuries can only obtain compensation after applying to the Countermeasures Injury Compensation Program (CICP). The program has only awarded compensation to three percent of the claims made. On the other hand, people have the right not to take the vaccine. Once upon a time, businesses couldn’t force employees to take EUA vaccine injections. This right has always been protected under federal laws. Now, that seems to have all changed.

May the lord have mercy on all of the strong nursing professionals, healthcare workers, firefighters, police officers in our beautiful State of Florida that will refuse this mandate. May we not fight alone.

Most gracious God, incline Thy merciful ears unto our prayer, and enlighten our hearts by the grace of Thy Holy Spirit, that we may worthily approach Thy Holy Mysteries and love Thee with an everlasting love. 

Luke, RN in Florida, Orthodox Christian

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