Ministry as a Drug Addiction
Observing Drug Addiction
If the reader can indulge me while I give a little personal history. I need to demonstrate I speak from experience that, “There is nothing new under the sun.”
After graduating from High School in 1973, I spent one year working on a construction crew framing houses. With a desire to serve God in a greater way, I took an opportunity at a Christian ministry whose mission was to rehab drug addicts through the Christian faith called Teen Challenge. The ministry had a small fleet of donated vehicles, most of which were already worn out when donated. The ministry needed a mechanic desperately. Because I could fix cars and nearly anything else, I was hired without so much as an interview. Leaving home, I moved to Dallas, Tx.
As it turned out, my job ended up being a whole lot more than just fixing old vans. I was assigned to overseeing a small group of men who had entered the live-in program as a last ditch effort to overcome drug addiction (usually heroine). In essence, at nineteen, I was the equivalent of an abbot but not to monks. My men were former drug addicts, fresh out of prison, sometimes with previous gang memberships. Some were twice my age. Fixing cars is easy compared to fixing dysfunctional human beings. That only God can do.
While I had never done drugs, been drunk, or even smoked a joint, I witnessed the binding power of drug addiction first hand in the lives of others and their struggle to be free. It is from that experience that I speak.
Addictions Bring Out the Worst in People
As it turns out, drug addiction is just one of many addictions; not all are an abuse of substances you shoot-up with a needle, snort with a pipe, or drop in the mouth. Some addictions come through a computer. When I read that over 60% of Christian men use porn regularly, I recognized an addiction.
For the “drug supplier”, porn is wonderful as it never has to be replenished. A picture or video can be used an infinite number of times. Porn is a drug dealer’s dream; a consumable that is never consumed. Porn, like every other addiction, rewires the brain and alters behavior: good men (and women) do foolish things inconsistent with who they really are.
Addictions are typical of sin with a spell binding power that must be overcome to be free. When partaking of drugs—or whatever addiction— people are not themselves. They take leave of their senses and become driven. They become monsters venturing into the unthinkable. Each druggie has a dual personality, a hidden lifestyle like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. They cover for things not otherwise congruent with their character. Addictions make fools, deviants, and liars of all men and women.
Yet there is a drug more deceptive than anything imaginable; one that hides behind the mask of virtue.
The Bigger They Are the Harder They Fall
In 1987, my wife and I with two small children were living with her parents. It was a gracious accommodation to recover our financial footing. Early one Sunday morning, we all were busy getting on our Sunday best. As was his custom, my father-in-law was listening to tele-evangelists on TV before leaving for church. I happened to be walking through the living room while Jimmy Swaggart was on the TV in his typical fiery, preachy mode. Nearing the end of his sermon, the next thing that came across the air waves was as jolting as a slap in the face. With all the honesty he could muster, Reverend Swaggart said (as I recall it, paraphrased): “Send us your money, we are the only one’s getting the job done (preaching truth, doing missions, etc).”
Stopped in my tracks, I thought, “Wow, I cannot believe I just heard him say that. Did he really mean it?” With that event clearly etched in my memory, I went about my business of getting ready for church and forgot about it until…
About six months later, it was revealed that Swaggart had committed a gross impropriety. He was again on TV, but this time begging for forgiveness with all kinds of tears and fussing. This made the news headlines of every major network. How could I not connect this humiliating spectacle with what I had witnessed a few months earlier? Proud men do fall.
As the days and weeks progressed—the tabloids found new fodder for publication—it was obvious there was a whole lot more to the story. Hollywood could never make this stuff up. Yet it was all real.
I knew a lot about Swaggart. At the time, he was one of the most watched on TV. He was the top donor to foreign missions in his denomination (my denomination at the time) in the millions each year. His genre of preaching had been prevalent among Pentecostals for generations, yet at the time, I had not been watching his preaching consistently. I knew enough about him to admire his undeniable, worldwide impact through preaching, benevolence, and television. In reality, very few organizations ever existed that approached the size and scope of Swaggart (Inc.). He was the behemoth of tele-evangelism worldwide.
The backstory to his fall goes like this: Swaggart had been making reference publicly—in his sermons— to another very well-known and successful pastor in New Orleans, Marvin Gorman, who had had an affair with his secretary some ten years earlier. Gorman had confessed, and restitutions had been made. When Swaggart caught wind of it years later, as a “holiness preacher,” he publicly criticized the denomination for allowing this man to keep his “papers” (ordination). While Swaggart never mentioned Gorman by name, many knew who he was talking about because enough information was given.
Having heard Gorman before his mistake became public, I held him in the highest regard because of his great success in reaching druggies, pimps, and prostitutes in sin-filled New Orleans. In my mind Gorman was top shelf as man and minister. I would have never guessed the affair.
When Gorman heard of Swaggart’s comments, he hired a private eye to track Swaggart’s movements. One evening, the private eye followed Swaggart to a hotel renowned for prostitution. Sitting in the parking lot of the hotel, the private eye contacts Gorman who races to the scene. As Swaggart exited the hotel room with a prostitute, there was Gorman to greet him (be sure of this – your sins will find you out). For a while the two sat in the car and argued, but the rest is history. Defending himself, Swaggart claims never to have touched, but to only have looked. As I recall it, much of this information was in the tabloids and, of course, each had its own spin.
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Not the Last to Fall
In the ensuing weeks, a number of tele-evangelists’ mighty empires came crashing down. Next came Jim Baker with his wife Tammy Fae of the famous PTL program. Baker was also rumored for infidelity, but was prosecuted for overselling investment shares in his retirement/Christian living community or something like that. While prosecutors could not go after immoralities, they did for money mismanagement. Suddenly, all tele-evangelists came under scrutiny as they raked in tens of millions under the tax cover of the 501©3 charities. Prosecutors, the IRS, and critics had been chomping at the bit for years. Now they had the opportunity to pounce.
In that same era, the most renowned pastor in Denver—Charles Blair—was prosecuted and convicted of overselling shares in his retirement tower complex. The interesting thing about Blair: it was not he who committed the crime—he was totally ignorant of what was happening—the business manager in charge of the development was actually guilty. He got off Scot-free, leaving Blair to take the fall. Blair, ever the opportunist, leveraged an admission of guilt into a book deal highlighting his mistake. The book, The Man Who Could Do No Wrong, spelled out exactly how proud men fall. Though even in humiliation, some proud men seem to find a way to profit.
One of the most pathetic spectacles I ever saw was TV evangelist Robert Tilton. He begged for money by saying his face had become injured from ink. He took people’s written prayer requests, and holding them to his face, prayed over them with much tears. Again, was I really hearing what I was hearing? Do people really fall for this stuff? Does he not see how ridiculous he looks?
It was not just the big names that fell. Many minor ministries also were found to have reoccurring misconduct with money, women, and usually both.
Among the old Pentecostals, there was a saying to keep preachers honest: Do not touch the gold, the glory, or the girls. For some reason, most tele-evangelists had forgotten this common-sense admonition. While touching the gold and girls becomes obvious at some point, touching the glory—taking God’s glory for one’s self— is totally undiscernible, until…they do something too stupid to ignore.
Ministry as a Drug
Into the 2000s, I was drawing conclusions while sorting through the demise of so many. I had the data, the conclusions were clear. All of these men, did stupid, irrational, and often illegal things because they had become intoxicated with their own importance and the accolades of the people. They had all demonstrated the addiction behaviors of substance abusers—all of them. Preaching made them high, made them drunk on their own importance to others, and altered their personalities beyond recognition. Unable to cover it up, they inadvertently started exposing their twisted judgment, thinking themselves able to get away with anything. They thought themselves above reproach.
The people fed their addiction. The addicts came to thrive on people’s affections, attention, and accolades; this is a drug hidden behind piety. Taking Satan’s offer, they became “gods”, legends in their own minds, self-appointed judges of what is good or evil (for them). Having heard their stories, each—like King Saul—had a humble beginning, took huge risks, trusting God to further their calling. But, how far had their hearts turned from God once they achieved success?
In each case, a number of church members became disillusioned with some or all aspects of Christianity. I have friends who quit going to church decades ago because preachers did stupid things. They practice their faith at home. They still profess Christ, claim to pray often, and have an ongoing relationship with God. But, they don’t go to church, because they got burned!
Never In Orthodoxy? Really?
Some reading this post are saying, “Of course, Protestantism fosters that kind of non-sense!” That is true; many Protestant churches have little or no accountability. They have a “marketing” mentality using every technique available to “build their empires” based on “name recognition.” But things are not so different as we Orthodox would like to think. Men are men—whether Protestant or Orthodox—sin is sin, and pride can make fools out of very good men.
Thinking that converting to Orthodoxy would free me of ever seeing such folly again was my own delusion. After watching so many good men fall from high places, some very ill advised choices made by Orthodox bishops made me think to myself, “Ok, I have seen this ‘dog and pony show’ before.” Obsessed with their own importance, too many bishops have been defending their positions, going after dissenters, and just doing dumb stuff.
Bottom line: Taking leave of their senses, the drug of ministry drives them to do irrational things such as telling people to mask their kids or leave, telling parishioners they cannot go to a particular restaurant because it bucks the state, acting on information from tattle-tails to nail individuals, endorsing dangerous vaccines, and the beat goes on… and on….and on… I have seen this movie too many times before not to know the outcomes. These are the edicts of intoxicated, addicted, and self-deluded men. Men intoxicated with power and the adulation of people.
Are all bishops in this boat? Of course not. But far too many. More than enough to be a problem.
The Yes-men
Just like the Protestants, the proud and the powerful surround themselves with “yes-men.” Men without the spine to speak up when a leader is about to make a serious mistake. This is not a true friend; a true friend will tell you when you are wrong, maybe even circumvent a bad directive or two for the good of the people. Being a “yes man” is not honoring Christ or the office of the bishop. Rather it exposes an ugly truth: the “emperor and his associates have no clothes.”
Conclusion
Bottom Line: no matter what it is—even if it is professional ministry—, if you cannot lay it down, you are addicted, you will misbehave, you will make bad decisions, it will be your undoing; and God will give your office to another before your time is full. That is the moral of these stories.
John – Orthodox jurisdiction withheld by request
John, Thank you very much for a well written, thoughtful column that resonates with my own experiences. In 2008 one of the “Catholic Blasphemers” – the name I accord hierarches who close Catholic or Orthodox Churches – closed 47 Roman Catholic Churches in the Allentown Diocese of Pennsylvania. On top of the clergy abuse of minors, that was it for me. I began attending the Orthodox Churches of my grandparents, completed the St. Stephen’s Course in Orthodox Theology with the Antiochians and was Chrismated an Orthodox in 2017 at age 70. I was “home”, or so I thought. When the pandemic hit “the one true, Church of Christ” was relegated to the “non-essential” and the Shepherds/Bishops ran into the woods to hide or capitulated to the CDC (I call it the Center for Diocesan Control) – a disgrace to Christ and His Church, His Saints and Martyrs and the hundreds of thousands who never returned from America’s wars. An additional disgrace was the closure by an “Orthodox Blasphemer” of an Orthodox Church over 100 years old built on the backs of immigrants. At this point in time I don’t know who disgraces his vocation and Christ and His Church more, the “Catholic Blasphemers” or the “Orthodox Blasphemers”. GOD BLESS.
Good comments. With all that has gone on in RC, it’s a mystery why so many still stick with it. In reviewing the history of Orthodoxy, when the Church has strayed–e.g. Arianism–it usually returns to its equilibrium but often took decades to recover what was lost. If government can turn bishops into their enforcers, when will government force gay clergy? get ready-get ready.
Once you start bending things, other things will be altered sooner or later; it always happens. Having spend time in the American Anglican recovery from Episcopalian-ism,there are lessons to learn there as well; the establishment of a new jurisdiction may be on the horizon for the Orthodox. A realignment may be in order. Was there a jurisdiction that never caved to government pressure? As for the remnant–those of us who love the Faith–we need to think in terms of how to rebuild this thing when the shaking is over with. It will survive–it always does, but not in its current form in many places; things will change, things need to change.